PASSWORDS. LIFE. HMMPPH.

I've always said to my computer-help clients, "Oh, don't worry about it, EVERYBODY has terrible trouble with passwords.  (That's understandable:  many days, sorting out passwords comprises up to 80% of my work.)

But I realize saying that isn't completely truthful and is completely unhelpful.

Because some people have no trouble at all with passwords.  They use passwords like everybody else, but nothing ever goes wrong.
(Or, MOST truthfully, when something rarely DOES go wrong with a password for these people, it's always because of someone else's error and it gets fixed, painlessly.)

In other words, passwords -- this huge bugaboo about computers that everyone seems to complain about -- can be completely fixed. 

And I know exactly how to do it!  -But that's not what this is about…

Rather, this post is about what happens when I give someone that complete and magical password fix:  it doesn't work.

("Well, of course it doesn't, everyone knows that passwords are always a complete pain and there's no way around it.")
Except there is:  The fix absolutely works…

…IF YOU THINK IT DOES…!

New Age woo-woo crap, yes?  We create our own reality, as above so below, use the force Luke, here, smoke this…?

No.

Here's the woo-woo-free mechanism: 

When someone has bad trouble with passwords, it's because they are doing something the wrong way.  Always.
The right way is different from the wrong way.  The right way works.  Always.
(Are you with me?)
Doing it the right way requires quitting doing it the wrong way, and starting doing it the right way.
Changing behavior in that way is kind of like "learning".  And we know learning doesn't happen all at once;  it includes trying and failing, making mistakes.  (Otherwise there's nothing to learn, you already knew it.)
(So far, so good?)
But here's the interesting thing that people do, with passwords:
When they do something wrong while learning the fix (and then things don't work), just when they thought they were doing it right (and things should have worked) --- they decide that the right way doesn't work for them after all!  Then they naturally quit learning the right way and go back to doing it the wrong way.

They decide.  They decide it doesn't work.

It's not that they can't do it:  this password fix is really simple, and anyone who can start a computer can do it.

It's not that they have conclusive evidence that it doesn't work:  they actually have good evidence both ways.  I've explained the fix to them, and told them my experiences, and made the fix work as they're watching, and they've done it themselves a time or two -- so they see with their own eyes that passwords are no problem.  But also, of course, they have plenty of evidence from their past saying passwords are the devil.

So, no, their decision is not based on ability and it's not based on evidence.  It's just a decision.  (Most decisions are like that, come to think of it;  but that's another not-about-that.)

The opposite decision, that passwords are no longer a problem for them, is just as easy.  Just as true.  Way more helpful.
Once they've made that decision, when they make a mistake, they can think "hah, it didn't work, I must have made a mistake, that means I'm learning, I'll try again."  How else could they think?  They know the fix works, and they know they're in the middle of learning, so duh try again.

(Later on, once they've perfected the technique, the same decision is guaranteed to save them again and again.  When Mail asks for the password, they're not tricked:  they know it's NOT a password problem, so it's probably an internet problem, and they go reboot their modem.  When they can't get the login password right, they know it's NOT a password problem, so they check and yup the caps lock key is on.  When iCloud asks again and again for its password, they know they've got it right, it must be several different parts of iCloud each asking separately, so they keep entering the correct password, and eventually all of iCloud is satisfied and quits asking.  And on and on.  Same decision, proving itself correct and saving their butts.)


I've heard this over and over:  "Whether you decide you can do it or you can't do it, you're right."  But it's rarely so clear, in my face and free of hidden unknowable mechanisms, as when I watch people with the password fix.